Mexican Olympian Tamara Vega raises awareness about eating disorders

It all started for Mexico’s Tamara Vega when she uploaded a photo of herself in her swimsuit on Instagram.

In a raw and candid caption, the 30-year-old modern pentathlete wrote about the cellulite and stretch marks visible on her body and how she was embracing them.

"Life is too short not to love your body," she wrote encouraging others to do the same.

Vega’s honesty was met with a flood of responses from people telling the two-time Olympian they also struggled to accept their bodies with some saying that they had developed eating disorders as a result. She was overwhelmed by the feedback.

Also among those checking the replies on the picture was sports photographer and podcast producer Danai Garcia.

Struck by Vega’s message and the conversation she had sparked, Garcia invited her onto her podcast. The two then decided to try and showcase the truth of eating disorders in athletes and, after some discussion, they settled on a documentary.

The result, ‘Atletas Frente al Espejo’ (Athletes in Front of the Mirror), is a powerful yet frank examination of elite Mexican female athletes who have suffered from eating disorders throughout their careers including Vega herself.

“I decided to do this documentary because of all the problems that I had: beginning with bulimia and the rejection of my body,” Vega told the Olympics.com Spanish podcast.

“I wanted people to understand that even though I am a high-performance Olympic athlete, even though I train eight hours a day, I am a woman and a person who has existential problems, who has problems with her body."

• Olympics.com Spanish podcast - Tamara Vega: Athletes in Front of the Mirror

Tamara Vega - I woke up one day and said, 'Why?'

The subjects of Vega’s documentary come from a variety of sports including basketball, rowing, wrestling, and boxing, but each story recounts on a similar theme of emotional and physical self-loathing.

For the Mexican, who throughout her 15 years competing in modern pentathlon has struggled with her own body image, listening to each testimony brought her tears each time as she related to athletes just like her: “It was a healing process for all,” she reflected.

But no matter how difficult it was, Vega stayed committed. She could feel that the process was helping her find the final bit of closure she had been looking for after recently coming to the end of her own recovery sparked one day by a desire for life.

“I feel the moment where you say 'Enough is enough' is when you wake up, and what you want is to no longer to say, ‘I’m suffering, why do I need to be alive? How difficult is this life,'" Vega recalled from her turning point with her disease.

"I woke up one day and said: 'Why? Why does life have to be so difficult? Why can’t I be happy if everything I do, my sport, my effort, is about me getting better?' Then, I got tired of not feeling well. I got tired of wishing I'd never wake up. I got tired of always being sad, of hating myself. I got tired of all that.

“And I think that when we really get tired or when we're really at a point where we can't do it anymore, it's like a pressure cooker that's about to explode.

“I think that this [the documentary] is what I actually needed, like the icing on the cake. In other words, it helped me a lot to heal.”

As well as asking questions, Vega shares her own story in the documentary.

While she said it was uncomfortable reliving her past burdens, by speaking about them she felt able to free herself from their clutches.

“It’s kind of funny how a healing process ended up with something as beautiful as a documentary,” Vega said.

“It was very difficult for me at first to accept that I used to have problems with drugs. It is something that is very embarrassing. At this point in my life, I don't understand how I could have lived like that. For me, it’s a very sensitive topic, as I know what it is to feel bad and only have a little moment of feeling good and not being able to stop.

“I also think that if you want to understand someone who wants to commit suicide, no one will understand it, except a person who has tried to do it too. It’s also a taboo topic. If someone in your family has committed suicide, it's a secret. There are many people who go through depression and who want to kill themselves and it's a pandemic. I feel it’s a pandemic as dangerous as COVID-19. Depression and anxiety are a pandemic.

“For me to speak openly about it was like getting rid of the power that it has over you. So, I took all that power away from drugs, from my insecurities, and the depression. I said I don't want them to live in me and if they return, I have the tools to send them away. My life has no room for these kinds of things.”

Tamara Vega: Launching a foundation to help others

Drawing attention to the fact that elite athletes struggle with body image as much as the average person for Vega is just one part of calling out what she said is currently "taboo".

The next step is providing guidance and help for those in need.

In addition to the documentary, the pentathlete has launched her own foundation, Fundación Tamara Vega (Tamara Vega Foundation), which aims to connect with those that are still struggling.

“Everything has a solution,” Vega said. “This is what I want to demonstrate.”

Professor Margo Mountjoy, a clinical scientist and member of the IOC Working Groups in Mental Health in Athletes echoes Vega’s sentiment that there are ways of overcoming eating disorders.

“The Mexican athletes in the 'Atletas Frente al Espejo' documentary have experienced many issues: concerns about their body image, and the physical and mental health consequences of eating disorders. Tamara is also empowered by her experience to help others and inspire action. Her messaging in the documentary is very important: she encourages athletes to self-examine their behaviours, to seek advice early, and to start treatment.

“Eating disorders in the general population are more common in women than in men. In sport, in addition to the societal pressures to be thin, there are further pressures on athletes to maintain a specific body composition to enhance their sport performance. Athletes in aesthetic-judged sports (such as gymnastics, artistic swimming, figure skating), and weight-dependent sports (such as endurance sports, ski jumping) where sport performance is improved by weighing less, are more susceptible to the development of eating disorder behaviours. In some instances, well-meaning sport officials or coaches may place unhealthy expectations on athletes to acquire unrealistic weight goals.

“The prevention of eating disorders should include education for athletes on the importance of properly fuelling their sport performance through healthy eating and maintaining a healthy body image. Education should also include the early signs of symptoms of eating disorders as well as the inclusion of the health and performance complications of eating disorders. Athletes should also be encouraged to seek help early and be informed where to seek help from medical experts with experience in treating eating disorders.”

Tamara Vega on Paris 2024: "I want to retire knowing that I did my best to win that medal"

Up next for Vega will be attempting to qualify for the Olympic Games Paris 2024. Having missed out on Tokyo 2020, in 2021, the Mexican says she hopes to wrap up her career at the upcoming Games.

Envisioning it as something of a swansong for the athlete in her, how Vega faces it as a person is also important to her too.

“These are my last Games. I am fully aware of how I want to get there: I want to arrive like a mature athlete. I want to enjoy them like never before. I want to enjoy this process and I'm going to give everything I can to get there.

"I want an Olympic medal. I’m going to work for an Olympic medal, and I want to retire knowing that I did my best to win that medal.”

After the Olympics, Vega then wants to return to her foundation and continue her work making documentaries and highlighting the severity of eating disorders.

She says, “We want to go further. Not just in Mexico, but in Latin America and the whole world. It is a worldwide problem.”

And for those currently battling through their own eating disorder or body dysmorphia, Vega shared this message with the podcast:

“To people who are going through processes like that, I know that maybe you're going to feel that your family doesn't understand you, that they don't have the slightest idea.

“I want to tell them that this is a stage in your life you will be able to overcome. If you feel that everything is wrong, it’s a stage and you're going to get out of that. Your life isn't like this, it’s not a bunch of bad things. Your life is what you're going to do when you overcome those bad things.

"I feel that everyone has the right to shine and be happy. I feel life is about those ups and downs and about being able to overcome them.”