Uchimura Kohei won't lie. It has not been easy getting back on his feet after what turned out to be a forgettable summer for one of the greats of artistic gymnastics.
All signs pointed to a fourth career Olympic gold medal at Tokyo 2020 for Uchimura, who had qualified for his fourth Games, producing a horizontal bar world record of 15.766 points during the Japanese trials.
But a day after the Opening Ceremony, Japan came to a standstill for one of the biggest setbacks for the host country at the Games: Uchimura fell off the bar during qualifying, and failed to make the final.
What followed for the 32-year-old perfectionist was a tremendous amount of soul-searching that he still doesn't have all the answers to.
Uchimura returned to competition on 23 September at the All-Japan Senior Championships, falling on his landing and finishing seventh with a disappointing score of 14.133 by his standards.
Speaking to Olympics.com on Sunday (17 October) ahead of the World Artistic Gymnastics Championships in Kitakyushu, Uchimura said, "It was really, really difficult to bring myself back to where I am right now.
"I was struggling to motivate myself for the seniors and I came to Kitakyushu still not being able to find the fire I should have.
"But being around the gymnasts from other countries has helped with the motivation. I need to figure out how to get it right physically in time for competition."
Uchimura will be competing at his ninth Worlds seeking to add to his 10 titles including an unprecedented six consecutive all-around golds from 2009.
But the meet starting on Monday - in the city where he was born - will be the first for Uchimura as a high bar specialist.
Uchimura admitted he is nowhere close to the regal form the world is accustomed to seeing him in, saying he is at "around 50 per cent".
Yet a half-fit Uchimura might be better than most at 100 per cent.
"I'd be lying if I said I'm in great shape but at the same time, I'm not feeling too shabby either. I feel like I'm fit enough to fully execute the routine," he said.
"This might sound weird but with the competition being in Japan, I feel pretty relaxed and not the other way around. I'm not overly tense, it's business as usual."
Easy rider
Perhaps it's because he already hit rock bottom this summer, but Uchimura was surprisingly at ease on Sunday during podium training, smiling and chatting with his teammates.
Or maybe it's because he's in his hometown, back at his old stomping ground in Kitakyushu General Gymnasium which he knows like the back of his hand.
He even had the comfort to have a laugh at his own expense. Asked what he sought from these championships, he said, "A clean performance. And qualifying for the final might help this time!"
Uchimura is looking forward to competing with team-mate and new Olympic all-around champion Hashimoto Daiki, who also won the Tokyo 2020 horizontal bar gold which had been earmarked for his veteran compatriot.
It remains to be seen whether the competition will be one of the last chapters in a storied career, but King Kohei is not on a mission to prove himself all over again.
"Hopefully, along with Hashimoto, I can reach the final," he said.
"Performing next to him was something I wanted to do at the Olympics but I couldn't make it happen. I want to make sure I realise that here and end the meet on a really positive note.
"Maybe revenge or redemption might be the right words but it's not the way I see it. I only feel gratitude to see this set-up in my birthplace amid a pandemic. It's all about appreciation."