A master of re-invention, rhythmic gymnast Mary Sanders thrives on 'no'

2004 U.S. Olympic rhythmic gymnast Mary Sanders is no longer afraid of the word ‘no.’

It’s, however, difficult to even imagine a time when she was.

The American-Canadian dual citizen faced down many obstacles on her road to the Games and has since reinvented herself time and again, all of which is now detailed in a forthcoming memoir 9 Lives by 35. 

As an 8-year-old, Sanders was dealing with the death of her father, Fred, a U.S. gymnast and Big Ten champion at the University of Michigan. 

He’d dreamed of seeing one of his children make it to the Olympic Games one day.

“I had two older brothers who had no gymnastics talents whatsoever,” Sanders told Olympics.com. “I’m the baby, the only girl, my father was a gymnast and my coach from day one.

“I was born, and my nickname was Little Olympian,” she added.

“I had this goal of the Olympics, but it looked very, very far for a lot of years.”

Two years after the passing of her father, Sanders transitioned from artistic gymnastics, which she admits had not really been a good fit, to rhythmic gymnastics.

“I do think God works in mysterious ways because I don’t think my father would have ever let me switch to rhythmic gymnastics,” said Sanders. “I’m not sure I would ever have made the Olympics in artistic.”

Still, it wasn’t easy learning a new sport at age 10 all while being raised by a struggling single mom, Jaci.

“Everyone was so much better than me. I just felt like a failure for so long,” Sanders recalled. “But my mother was always very strong and told me, ‘Only good things come with hard work.’ So, I just worked hard… Being raised by a single mother… she had to go bankrupt to support my gymnastics career. We moved every year. Financially, it was very, very hard to pursue a dream in a sport when you are placing last and don’t really see the future.”

Sanders didn’t give up, though.

“I knew I had this goal of the Olympics, but it looked very, very far for a lot of years.”

By 2002, at age 17, Sanders had worked her way all the way to the World Championships. That got USA Gymnastics’ attention.

“To honor my father’s legacy as an American gymnast, I switched countries [from Canada] when I was 17 years old to compete for the U.S.,” explained Sanders. “I had to go through a lot of ups and downs to get there, but my last two years competing for the U.S. were a godsend.”

Sanders finished 15th at the 2004 Olympic Games Athens, but her experience was more than placements.

"I was not competing for medals because I was never a medal contender," she says. "I just remember feeling that the sacrifice that my mom had done over all those years, to everyone counting on me that, you know, I didn't let them down."

Finding the next goal

Since competing in Athens, Sanders has spent time traveling both the U.S. and the world, performing in post-Olympic gymnastics shows and as an acrobat for Cirque du Soleil, as an executive assistant, a vice president of entertainment, acted, gotten married, had two children, and, most recently, become an author.

Sanders hadn’t planned on writing, but a chance interaction with Olympic gold medallist Kyle Shewfelt, who has written his own memoir, sparked the idea.

“I always need a creative outlet and there was no gymnastics tours to direct, there was no show I was producing, it was like stay at home, take care of the kids, do admin work. I was just dying inside,” Sanders recalled. “[To Shewfelt,] I was like, ‘Congratulations’ on social media and he messaged me like, ‘I know you have a story. I can’t wait to read yours one day.’ It totally resonated with me and the moment he said that, it was just the perfect timing.”

She got to work, writing all 80,000 words of the book herself, operating on three hours of sleep with two young children, including a six-month-old baby boy at the time.

It’s part of a philosophy that Sanders says has helped her to find her passion and purpose in her post-sporting life, a difficult task for many.

“I think part of moving on is just find that next goal, reinventing your life and going for it,” said Sanders. “I think as athletes we’re just trained to only think one way. I’ve kind of had to train myself to close the chapter and be like, ‘What are my other goals that are completely unrelated to gymnastics?’”

That has also involved a major shift in attitude.

“I think now I’m so not afraid of the word ‘no’,” said Sanders. “I was always afraid to go for something. ‘Oh, I won’t get that job’ or ‘That opportunity’s just going to laugh or say no.’ Now, I’m just like, ‘I don’t care.’”

Sanders isn’t quite sure what the future holds, though she jokes it could include another book.

“We’ll see how many lives I get in before I’m 40,” she jokes at a possible 15 Lives by 40 follow up.

She has dreams of seeing 35 Lives by 40 on screen one day soon, either as a documentary or series.

It’s no surprise, given all she’s done so far, that Sanders expects change lies ahead.

And no matter where life takes her, it's likely she’ll keep wisdom she wishes she’d had sooner front and center.

“I think if I were to tell younger me [some advice], it’s just don’t not pursue something because you’re afraid of rejection of the word ‘no’ because now I thrive on it.”