“Mental health is a disease not a curse or witchcraft”: Kenya 7s star Dennis Ombachi on a battle with depression that drove him close to suicide

Kenyan Olympian Dennis Ombachi is a man who has often been misunderstood.

To many, he was the rugby sevens star whose skills on the pitch were evidence of his incredible talent.

The winger will always be remembered for scoring the try against Zimbabwe that qualified Kenya for the Rio 2016 Olympics.

He apparently ‘missed team flights’ to tournaments due to perceived discipline issues.

But what many didn’t know was he had serious mental health issues.

In 2021, the 32-year-old revealed that he had been struggling with bipolar disorder.

“I was diagnosed with bipolar and then after a couple of therapy sessions I was told I'm bipolar and ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder),” he said in an interview with Olympics.com to mark World Mental Health Day 2022.

Ombachi who suffered a career-threatening injury during the 2017/18 season, opened up on how he attempted suicide several times throughout his career, and had many episodes of self-harm.

“It spirals quite easily. It just takes a single psychotic break and unfortunately, you will be no more. I'm glad I'm still here doing this interview… it’s just sheer luck," he told us, sharing how he developed tools to improve his situation, before forging a new future as a chef.

He's decided to use his profile as a rugby player and Olympian to help start conversations around mental health, not only in sport but also in parts of Africa where many people don’t seek treatment or support because of the stigma.

“In Kenya, people with mental health disorders are considered cursed or (suffering) from witchcraft.

“I better be told that (I am not man enough) and I'm still alive, than be told that you died like a man.”

And as we mark World Mental Health Day 2022 on October 10, with the theme ‘make mental health and well-being for all a global priority’, Ombachi highlights some aspects of mental health that need to change to overcome the stigma of mental illness.

Check out the exclusive interview below, that has been shortened and edited for clarity.

Ombachi on suffering childhood bullying and Rio Olympics

Dennis Ombachi (DO): Growing up, I remember I was always the funny guy, but that's something I used to hide my emotions for a very long time. I used to tell myself cracking funny jokes would distract people from me, from what I was going through. No one would talk about me, no one noticed me.

It goes back to my high school and primary school days. I was bullied a lot. When I was in form two, the bullying was too much that I ran away from school. I was in a boarding school in Kisii so I came and lived in Nairobi (300km away) as a street kid for a week.

One of the street kids that I had befriended told me that, ‘you have a family unlike us…please call your parents and go back home’. I said no. But he insisted on having my dad's number. He called him and my dad then sent a search party who found me somewhere along the river, dirty trying to take a shower. They took me and later (I went) back to (a different) school. That's where I started playing rugby.

OC: Rio 2016 was a career-high for you, what memory do you have of the Olympics?

DO: After Rio 2016, I've been on matters mental health. I was struggling even before then. But during the qualifiers, I had some sort of a psychotic breakdown, I sort of managed to hide it. One day, when I was in my room alone, I had a few suicidal thoughts. I think I took almost 20 painkillers. Not with the aim of committing suicide... just to harm myself. The following day during the training sessions I was a bit sluggish. My eyes were moving from left to right.

They took me to the doctor who performed a few tests, thinking it was maybe malaria. The doctor said I was fine. They (teammates) really didn't know what was wrong with me. But deep down I knew what I had done. But I just didn't feel comfortable enough to share with anybody.

We continued with the matches, though I struggled through the qualifiers. Coincidentally, I'm the one who scored the winning try that took Kenya to the Olympics. That tournament remains special because of what I put myself through and the outcome.

Ombachi on the the tough recovery mentally after injury

OC: It must have been a difficult six months, and a tough year when you were nursing the injury in the 2017/2018 season. The broken leg healed but how was your mental state then?

DO: I struggled a lot with feelings of worthlessness, helplessness. You're just chilling at home, nothing much is happening in your life. You’ve had a good pre-season, then you have this career threatening injury that you manage to shake off. But as I came to learn, bones do heal - two weeks to a month for bones to come together - and after six months to be able to run again.

And that's the bit that I neglected. Seeing your teammates out there performing, winning matches and stuff…you know very well if you were there, you'd be part of the of the starting line-up.

Once you get injured, you are not getting paid as regularly as the other players who are still on duty, so there’s financial implications. All these came bearing down on me at once and I was like maybe I should just end it. I took a knife slit my wrists.

Fortunately, my sisters called a friend of mine who took me to hospital. And then from hospital I was admitted to the psychiatric ward. They told me I was Bipolar, I was like, ‘no I was just sad. I was just stressed out. Once things get back to normal, I'll be fine’.

I took medication, although not consistently, and it made me feel well. As soon as I felt well, I jumped off medication and everything spiralled again.

The feelings again of worthlessness, being sad, it was always a cycle like that.

That’s when I used to find myself drinking a lot, indulging in drugs, smoking lots of marijuana, trying to distract myself from the reality. I was moving from one psychiatric ward to another…

OC: As a rugby player, you were often misunderstood, and even considered undisciplined…

DO: I've had lots of discipline issues. I've missed flights, but it was not something that I'm apologetic for. I remember, the flight I missed - our tournament going to the World Cup - that previous week, I was going through very tough, emotional times.

I was feeling really low. I had just come back from the injury when I broke my leg. I really didn't feel like traveling and didn't know how to break this to the coaches because of the trust my coach then, Innocent Simiyu, had in me.

The previous night I decided, as I always did, I'm going to drown my sorrows in liquor. I had a bottle of whisky. I just told myself, 'I'm not going to show up'. But in the morning, I went to the airport, talked to the coach, told him what I'm going through, what I've been going through. The coach understood and he asked me to make sure I get help.

I went back to the psychiatric hospital. And a month later I was ready, and we managed to travel together with the team for my first World Cup.

The suicide attempt that changed him

OC: But your struggles with mental health persisted…

DO: My second episode, my girlfriend was expecting our first or second kid.

I was inside the house, and I just took a piece of a floor tile. I broke it on the floor and proceeded to slash my arm, which required almost 32 stitches. She had to rush me to hospital. She was eight months pregnant. The trauma of the shock, it almost induced labour, something I regret. But it was a turnaround in my life. I still have the scars with me over here... (pointing to his arm).

I decided that I'm going to be taking my medication and health seriously. I went back to the psychiatric ward - I was admitted again - for just over two weeks. This time I was consistent with my medication and for the first time I decided to seek therapy, something I'd been avoiding for a while. The doctors told me as much as medication will help, therapy is what will get me off these dark cycles that I kept going through.

I've been stable for quite a long time, I've had my relapses, but mental health is a journey as well.

OC: What has been your biggest discovery through this journey?

DO: My biggest discovery is, first, the more I share the lighter the load is on my shoulders, and that mental health is mainly misunderstood in Kenya. People are coming out to talk about mental health, but also lots of people are misdiagnosing themselves. "People are just saying, 'Oh, I did this and this because I'm bipolar. You're not bipolar unless a psychiatric diagnosis you as so.

I was diagnosed with bipolar and then after a couple of therapy sessions I was told I'm bipolar and ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).

I keep telling people it's just like any other any other disease, like diabetes. Once you're on your medication, life goes back as normal. I have had to change my lifestyle a lot. Nowadays I don't partake of alcohol, marijuana, which I used to smoke a lot. I don't smoke marijuana. Those small lifestyle changes have put me in a proper and functioning state of mind, especially now that I have a young family and little kids that look up to me. I have to be strong for them.

OC: How easy is it for you as a Kenyan, African man, to talk about something that is considered almost taboo or people don’t even believe it exists?

DO: It’s not been easy, until today like my parents especially my dad knows I'm on medication and stuff, but we've never had a one-on-one like, 'this is what I am suffering from, it comes from these...' Some of it is from childhood trauma. I talk to my therapist, but I rarely have this conversation with my parents. But my partner, we have it almost every other day, she's been supportive. My sisters understand and we talk about it. I think there's something about the older generation, it's just they just don't get it, or is it us who don't know how to put it out to them?

OC: What would be your message for your fellow athletes and African especially men as the world marks World health Day this year?

DO: Mental Health is just a disease like any other. I would urge them to be open, talk about their feelings. Don't be shy about your feelings. Don't hide your feelings.

I better be told that (I am not man enough) and I'm still alive, than be told that you died like a man.

Because it spirals quite easily. It just takes a single psychotic break and unfortunately, you will be no more. I'm glad I'm still here doing this interview… it’s just sheer luck.

OC: Besides the rugby that we came to know you for you, are very creative and very talented in other fields too…

DO: Carpentry and cooking were sort of an escape… things that made me feel human again, they distracted me from the realities of life, which fortunately I managed to tap into.

I've used social media to tell my own narrative, how my life is, the kind of person I am. I managed to incorporate the cooking bit into it, get lots of followers, working with brands and stuff has been a source of income.

OC: Paris 2024 is around the corner, have you thought of trying to make a comeback?

DO: Rugby…? maybe just for fun. I'm a bit too old now at 32. But you never know…

OC: Thank you for taking the time to talk to us.

If you're struggling with mental health issues, please seek advice from a qualified professional.