Bullies no match for Canada’s Paralympic star Aurelie Rivard: “I was an easy target”
Be more selfish.
If Aurelie Rivard, one of Canada’s most successful Paralympians, could give only one piece of advice, it would be this.
Growing up with bullies taunting her every move and too shy to respond, Rivard fought back the only way she knew how – by swimming faster and faster.
This mixture of helplessness and anger propelled the then 16-year-old to her first Paralympic medal, a silver at London 2012, which would kickstart a dazzling career and prove a turning point in how she thought about herself.
“Leading up to London, it was something that was fuelling me, because the only purpose I had at the time was to prove them wrong,” Rivard told Olympics.com. “I didn't want to be the disabled swimmer or the disabled girl in the class. I wanted to be somebody who could accomplish the same things as them or even better and greater things. That's what fuelled me at first. I wanted to prove people that I could do great things too.”
Looking back, the 10-time Paralympic medallist says her journey could have been easier if she had learned to pay less attention to what others thought of her.
This is a message she now wants to share with those who are still facing bullies or critics.
Aurelie Rivard won the first of her five Paralympic gold medals at Rio 2016.
Aurelie and Charlotte Rivard: Twin sisters, different stories
Rivard was born with an underdeveloped left hand. Despite growing up with a twin sister who does not have a disability, Rivard says she never felt different and was surprised to hear kids pointing out her hand when she was 12.
The taunts started when the promising swimmer switched to specialised sports school, separate from her sister.
“I came out of nowhere and I looked different, and I was very insecure, so I was an easy target for a couple of people,” Rivard said.
Every school day became a nightmare as Rivard braced for a daily onslaught of attacks. The other kids called her names, excluded her from group activities and sometimes even threw food at her.
Rivard suffered from low self-confidence and panic attacks, and considered quitting swimming.
Her sister Charlotte remained her biggest ally throughout this time, but despite their close bond, Rivard says she could not help but start comparing herself to her sibling. Those comparisons often made her current situation even more painful.
“Having a twin sister probably made it worse because I had a very pessimist inner speech,” Rivard said. “When I was younger, I could compare myself to her constantly and I was like - it's super dark, but I'm like – ‘Why would people choose me if they can have the full version right there? Why would they pick the one that is missing a piece of the puzzle?’
“I could see what I would look like, how my life would look like, how I would feel. I could see it. At the time, I was blaming everything on my hand. It made it difficult for me to see the reality,” Aurelie Rivard to Olympics.com
Aurelie Rivard (left) said she would compare herself to twin sister Charlotte Rivard (right) when she was getting bullied in school.
Aurelie Rivard’s perfect comeback for bullies
The year before Rivard made her Paralympic debut at London 2012 was the worst in terms of the bullying she encountered.
Still keeping silent, Rivard matched the fierceness of the abuse with even fiercer strokes.
“Swimming allowed me to make a path of my own and build my character with something that I was good at and that I loved, as opposed to being in the corner and waiting for the world to pass,” Rivard said, adding that she turned the insults that some classmates hurled at her into extra fuel for training.
In 2012, she found the perfect response to her bullies - a Paralympic medal.
Returning home to Quebec with a silver in the women's 400m freestyle S10, Rivard found the usual group of her tormentors much changed.
“Suddenly I was cool. Everybody was my friend. It made me laugh,” she recalled. “It just proved to me that I was never the problem. And then I never had any problem with people ever since. It built the confidence and a self-esteem that I had lost.”
Rivard went on to win another four medals at the Rio 2016 Paralympic Games, including three gold, and broke two world records on the way to five medals at Tokyo 2020, which made her Canada’s most successful female Paralympian at the latter edition.
Reflecting on her transformation, Rivard says she hardly recognises the “shy” and “anxious” girl she used to be before she won her first medal in London.
“It's like two different persons,” she said. “The biggest thing that changed is that I have confidence in myself, which I could not say back then.
“Now I'm very present on the pool deck. I'm not shy at all. I am confident. I have a lot of resilience.”
Sharing her message: A Paralympian’s advice for fighting bullies
As a kid, school was a dreaded place for Rivard. Now she goes to schools, as well as businesses, with enthusiasm to share her message about standing up to bullies.
Still, it took the Para swimmer almost a decade after London 2012 to speak openly about her experience.
“I was embarrassed, and I thought it made me look weak,” she explained.
Rivard's mentality changed when she realised the positive impact her words could have on others. As a teenager, she had “desperately” looked for anyone she could relate to, all in vain.
“I couldn't find anybody that was going through the same things or had a small disability,” Rivard said. “I always felt like I was too disabled to fit in, not enough to then identify as a disabled person. And so, I didn't really know where I belonged.”
Seeing fellow Canadian Para swimmer Benoit Huot for the first time made a great impression on her. Huot, who was born with a club foot, retired from the sport in 2019 after an illustrious career that saw him win 20 Paralympic and 32 world medals.
“I saw somebody who had a small disability and who looked happy,” Rivard said. “It made the whole difference in my life. So I try to make myself available for the same reason, because I know it can make a difference.”
While not everyone can respond to bullies with medals like Rivard, the Para swimmer does have a universal tip for slamming down critics and finding self-love – be selfish.
“You shouldn't ignore your needs to prioritise somebody else's. It's not about putting yourself above people or first. It's not about people, actually, it's about you,” Rivard said. “Especially within a sport team, which I'm part of, I will focus on me first and it makes me a better teammate after.
“That doesn't mean I don't love them, doesn't mean I'm not there for them. I will lose my voice cheering for them, but the priority will still be what I need to be at my best.”
Aurelie Rivard won five medals and set two world records at Tokyo 2020.
What is fuelling Aurelie Rivard on her fourth Paralympic cycle?
Three years ago, after finishing Tokyo 2020, Rivard was unsure if she would return for her fourth Paralympic appearance.
After accomplishing everything she wanted in the pool, she pursued other passions, including starting a law degree which she expects to complete in just over a year.
But as Paris 2024 inched closer, Rivard noticed her interest also start to grow.
The Tokyo 2020 Games, as good as they looked on her profile in terms of medals, were not the way Rivard wanted to wrap up her swimming career.
“It wasn't a great experience with all the restrictions and stuff. It was a very dry and cold experience,” the athlete said. “When I walked out on deck … I felt like I could touch the pressure. It was so heavy on the pool deck. That's when I realised what people in the stands bring to a big stadium like that. They bring the fun, the excitement of the Games that we know, and it helps having a balance in the atmosphere.
“I'm looking forward to getting the energy that we had in Rio or London back.”
Giving her a further boost, the Canadian government announced in January that Paralympians would receive the same financial rewards as their Olympic counterparts starting with Paris 2024.
The money is a secondary consideration for Rivard. What matters more is the change in how society perceives the achievements of Paralympians like herself.
“What made me extremely happy is knowing that my community, my sport federation and the country, in general, acknowledge my performances the same way that they would my teammates in the Olympics. They hold my medals to the same value,” Rivard said. “But there's a long way to go because the ultimate goal is to see my medal worth the same as an Olympic gold medal in the eyes of the public. So it's not about money. It's about recognition.”